We saw the plastic surgeon this past Thursday. I have been looking forward to this appointment all month. This is when we were to discuss phase 2 which for me would mean doing what he thought needed for the breasts - symmetry and maybe a lift, and also discussing cleaning up of the necrosis in my abdominal incision. On each of my breasts, there is a lollipop scar where they took the nipple and areola. I thought that these would be removed, but he said that they would stay, which surprised me. I was under the impression they draw those in and take that part out, but apparently I was wrong, maybe it is because I am not having nipples done. He said they could do a tattoo of an areola but I really do not want that as I will eventually get a tattoo over both breasts, and I also don’t see the point since there are no nipples. We also talked about needing to remove the necrosis tissue (I have 3 areas along my incision) that need to be removed. These cause pain when going from a sitting to standing position or if I move a certain way, and they also protrude along the incision and make it difficult to wear pants/jeans. He really wants to wait 4-6 months for my body to properly heal so that we do not have any issues like we did with the original reconstruction. So, that means the surgery will not take place until February of next year. My heart sank when he mentioned this, and I am sure as I nodded with understanding and even said out loud, I understand, my eyes told the true story. I mean, I get it, I do, my body needs to heal on the inside COMPLETELY before we go in and fix the issues but that is not what I wanted to hear. I really want this phase to be done and over. I let myself feel the feelings of being sad over this news and then I moved on. I cannot change this outcome and so I felt there is no need to dwell on it after acceptance of it.
Since my lab work still states premenopausal, I am on Tamoxifen for my hormone therapy medication. I started taking this medication earlier this month, and let me tell you the side effects are no joke. There are 7 different brands/manufacturers for this drug. They all use different filler ingredients to make it. My first prescription was filled with Aurobindo, which is the most common, however, it has 8 extra fillers and the side effects were awful. Side effects from these drugs since their goal is to put you in to menopause are hot flashes, weight gain, bone and muscle pain, memory loss and a few others. With this particular brand, I experienced mild hot flashes (so grateful for this). It made my feet swell. I also had extreme exhaustion, flu like symptoms in my legs (all day), tailbone pain, bruised bone pain in the knuckle of one of my fingers, confusion and not being able to remember if I did certain tasks or not. I called my local pharmacy and asked what band they used which is Mylan (only 6 of the possible 15 fillers). I started taking the new brand this past week - oh the difference. While I am still tired, the extreme exhaustion is gone - it was so bad that I would struggle with driving and wanting to pull over and just sleep. The flu like symptoms are not as severe, the tailbone pain is subsiding and easing up, and the confusion and memory issues are gone. I am older so yes, there are still some memory issues (my kids will laugh at this and agree) but nothing like I was experiencing earlier this month. I am considering contacting a compounding pharmacy and having them make this drug without all of the fillers - I mean, seriously, why do they add all of this junk in there? I have also learned that taking this medication at dinner time helps in me not being so tired during the day. I am still struggling with the weight gain, thankfully right now only 5-6 pounds but when you have been trying to lose for over a year and struggled even then, this can be very frustrating. So I am even more vigilant about the types of foods we eat - nothing processed, minimal to no sugar, okay, only Stephen’s homemade cinnamon swirl banana bread - it is sooo good! But we are very careful in what we buy and make sure it is more natural and fresh. I have also started walking every morning before work and it helps with the stiffness and muscle aches.
I meet with the breast surgeon for follow up this coming week and then with my oncologist in November for new blood work and to discuss the medication.
Can you believe September is over? Crazy how fast this year has come and gone!
Much love,
Deandra