You know you've been in the Middle East too long when...

• You're not surprised to see a goat in the passenger seat or tied up to a post outside your flat building

• You think the uncut version of "Little House on the Prairie" is provocative 

• You need a sweater when it's 80 degrees Fahrenheit 

• Your idea of housework is leaving a list for the houseboy 

• You believe that speed limits are only advisory 

• You believe that the definition of a nanosecond is the time interval between the time the light turns green and the time that the guy behind you begins to blow his horn 

• You can't buy anything without asking for a discount 

• You expect all stores to stay open till midnight 

• You understand that 'wadi bashing' isn't a criminal act 

• You make left turns from the far right lane 

• You send friends a map instead of your address 

• You understand why huge 4x4’s must slow down to a snail's pace whilst crossing a speed bump yet hurtle through a wadi at 100 kph 

• You think that "Howareyou" is one word. So is "Mamsir" 

• You think it perfectly normal to have a picnic in the middle of a roundabout at 11 p.m. 

• You know exactly how much alcohol allowance you have left for the month 

• You have a moon phase predictor on your computer 

• You never say Saturday instead of Friday or Sunday instead of Saturday anymore 

• You accept that there is no point in asking why you are not allowed to do something 

• You expect queues to be 1 person deep and 40 people wide 

• You realize that the black and white stripes in the road are not a zebra crossing, just bait to get tourists into the firing line 

• You carry 12 passport size photos around with you just in case 

• You can tell the time by listening to the local mosque 

• You think its a good night if there are fewer than 10 men for every woman in a bar

• Phrases like 'potato peeler', 'dish washer', 'coffee maker' and 'fly swatter' are no longer household items but are actually job titles 

• You overtake a police car at 130KM/HRA 

• Problem with your car AC or horn is more serious to you than a problem with the brakes

 and yes they do this all the time!